Ep53 Addiction Prevention Making People Feel They Belong

Ep53 Addiction Prevention Making People Feel They Belong

[00:00:00] Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Chris Langley: Hi, welcome to Addiction Recovery Place Podcast. The podcast championing addiction treatment professionals around the world.

I'm your host Chris Langley and I'm very pleased to introduce today's guest Tara Bollinger. Tara is the founder of Recovery Resources and is located in the state of Virginia. Welcome to Addiction Recovery Place podcast Tara. It's so good to have you with us today.

Tara Ballinger: Thank you for having me.

Chris Langley: Now, I really appreciate it. I'm really excited to talk to you today because your journey has been quite exceptional and I'm really excited for our listeners to hear about it.

can you tell us about yourself and your journey to becoming the founder of Recovery Resources?

Tara Ballinger: Yeah. guess being a product of my environment coming from dysfunction, going through addiction, I was emancipated at 14. I've used every type of drug, had no purpose, found purpose. Messed the purpose up due to solid foundation. and then finally just kept [00:01:00] going. I just said, let me give this one more chance. Let me, try to, go back to get my peer certification. And when I did that, I broke into a lot of things that I really didn't expect, for me personally, and then also professionally, with where I like I was being driven to, to help. being a child alcoholism, drug addiction, abuse, neglect, every, sexual abuse, every kind of abuse, anything that was, that I think that's what kind of makes my story unique and why I really feel like I have a, a talent, a, purpose for this.

I really feel like there's a reason. My stars have aligned. and it's taken this long. I think it's strategically. I think it's intentional because I wouldn't have been ready for the things that I'm doing now. I not went through things up until six months ago, wouldn't [00:02:00] be ready, and, now I just, I want to, Not just talk about what works. I don't want to talk about my story. That's part of it, but I want to focus on solutions. because at this point, people are talking a lot, people are wanting to do a lot, but I feel if I show them, maybe it'll be either a more attractive or be easier to understand.

Chris Langley: Recovery Resources has come from your own personal journey.

Tara Ballinger: Yes.

Chris Langley: how long ago did this start, Tara? When did you first decide to do this?

Tara Ballinger: So six years ago, so my main story, my main Big pitch, to draw people in is where I've turned tragedy to triumph. overdosed with my kids six years ago in the car. It was my last use. forget that day. That was my rock bottom. I had many [00:03:00] before that. But that journey, I have went through so many treatment centers.

and I wanted it quite a few times. But it was almost like I'm being told there's 27 pathways, there's this, there's that. But I wasn't getting any, tight knit treatment to really help explore those options. they were just like a commercial I would see on TV, right? Like a quick snippet.

And I would never get to dive into those things. So over the years, speaking with other people in recovery, speaking with the youth, speaking with professionals that are medical professionals in addiction, law enforcement and addiction. the general consensus I have gained is there's a lot of gaps. There's a lot of gaps and it's one, all types of pillars. It's communication, it's networking, it's availability. It's so many things that if you really, if I take my story [00:04:00] and use that to dissect where my gaps were, so simple and small because all they require is compassion. Empathy, understanding, prevention, and awareness.

And literally those things can be done by a community. I'm so close with, you networking in my community locally, but now, globally and nationally, and it's just Wait a minute. We're all doing the same thing. Like why can we not converse more and make this more of a, if it's already, problem and a stigma out there, it's, becoming such a big problem. Why not have us all join in hands and it's going to take some time, but if you've got the drive there, we can close in those gaps. And literally that can, one little gap can really save somebody's life. I am the person that, Overdose six years ago. And for those three days prior to that, I was actually on, medicated assisted treatment, methadone. I tried, this was [00:05:00] like my 10th attempt on some kind of MAT. whether it was with the right intention or not. either way, the main thing I found from that was my support, my, the people I trusted and then also the treatment that wasn't with it. So all these things. I have great insight too because I lived it. and I really believe that not only just opening people's eyes, but showing them the solution and, showing the options, even if it's not my option, there's many options.

I just need to get them out there and just show people, how it applied in my life.

Chris Langley: That's, an incredible journey, Tara. There really is. Congratulations.

Tara Ballinger: you.

Chris Langley: where you were six years ago to now, which is what we're going to tell our audience about, because I'm really excited to find out. So what, is your goal for recovery resources? What's the, what's, the plan?

Tara Ballinger: So you have perfect timing because I have been battling back and forth on my best [00:06:00] approach to be the most impactful, but the. the. least exhausting where I don't get burnout because this is my life, my passion. So it's not work to me, but I'm also coming into contact with, political barriers, personal barriers, local barriers that I don't want that to stop the purpose of my mission.

So my mission is to have a safe space, man. so I've, been doing some networking where I've, joined people together that nothing to do with recovery. Like they have good hearts. They're compassionate people. I tell them my story. I tell them my mission and what my intention is to get a community involved.

It takes a village to raise a child. I grew up hearing that. does everybody think they can do it all alone now? with recovery resources, I have managed to get a few people together. show them my mission and I'm given a chance [00:07:00] to make it my own safe space. And I think overall I have decided to make it a center. music is my main core, my coping, my therapy, my universal language, right? So there's so many pathways, but I've got to get, I've got to get people into the safe space to let them just at least feel safe. Music is a language that I can talk to in any culture. It's very inclusive. If I have a center and I started off with music and I have some other treatment stuff available, I've got a peer there. I can literally like just open people up through music and communication. I've got a peer there and he can, me and him, try to help get them a treatment plan. But I'm only, getting clients to treatment centers that I know them because I always meet and have lunch with them before the, peer director, the BD and the director of [00:08:00] operations, because look, I want to know where I'm sending them.

I'm not sending people to, to, just Medicaid funded or we got grants, we've got new beds. Cool. But do you care? are you going to follow their treatment? And if their treatment doesn't work there, are they a failure or can you just support them, send them back to me and we repert, we regroup and we get it right instead of saying, Nope, it didn't work out. sorry, but with consequences. No, we can't sit there and put a mold on somebody and say, you've got to take recovery this way. We're telling them we have so many pathways, but we're not letting them explore those pathways. We're literally giving them what we have in this one treatment center, and they think they can do it all, and they can't. I just, I use 27 pathways in one day. My day is so up and down. Mental health, recovery, life on life's terms, and kids and co parenting. I could keep going. in that daily [00:09:00] log, I can see where I've used many coping skills. I've used many supports or networks and not done it alone,

Chris Langley: yeah. You've, made a perfect description about peer support, Tara. But what, is it that makes peer support so effective within the recovery space? Because it's, a huge one.

Tara Ballinger: trust, trust. is all it is because, and it's not like you can even really explain the feeling, of the peer impact. Like I could tell you all day, I just did a national study last week for Oklahoma University on peer impact and they can have the numbers. But I truly believe with my gift of speaking that I've been pushed into and, very happily, able to create connections. And those connections might be normal conversations for me and a stranger, but they don't realize that's where our trust [00:10:00] initiates. And if I've got trust with people in a general population and with people in recovery, I've got to connect us. And if I'm that person to show the trust, it's going to be attractive.

And trust me, hired my, I just paid for my first client's peer training, last week. going to get her internship hours at my facility at my place. Which is, look, it's free for people. It's free for people. I'm not charging people to come in. I've got, things lined up. I'm self funded, but I've also got people that, offer up services or they offer up, I've got this I need, I take it to them.

Let me pay for this package to help you get to this event. it's just different things where I'm able to take the funding and really put it into the clients. But the peer work is going to be the main thing. So I pay for her peer training. I reached out to my old peer trainer, got her in, paid for the class, printed her a manual out, and I told her I'll be her mentor right here.

She's got a teacher [00:11:00] that's great. I've been there, I went through the whole process. We were incarcerated together six years ago. She's been clean for a year, and I helped her start her cleaning company, but not, finding her purpose. She doesn't feel whole, she's getting turned down so many places. I know how to help. Look at, I was that person that was, let go because of my criminal record, which caused me to get my charges expunged. 43 of them. But didn't want to go back to work for anybody after that because I know how powerful my work can be without having an overhead over of somebody that just doesn't understand it. Or maybe just wants it for the money. she'll get her internship hours with me and then she'll be my first peer. And I'll know that when I send her off, there's quite a few people she's going to be able to touch because I know that she got the right mentorship. She got the right teacher and she's going to see the right work being done.

Chris Langley: It sounds like [00:12:00] you've, got your first person of many coming up. the work you're putting in is absolutely incredible. It's just so wonderful to hear this. You mentioned about funding Tara. So how are you funded? How do how do you, how are you doing what you're doing?

Tara Ballinger: and I'm self funded. I have initially, I was going and doing soft openings for treatment centers cause I didn't really build on what I, didn't know what I wanted to build. What I didn't know. I had resources, but I didn't know what to put together. So I went out to keep money coming in. was doing business development as recovery resources, but it was because the treatment centers knew of me through business development at treatment centers.

I was going to, professional liaison association meetings where it was like a network of Virginia, local business developers of treatment centers. So I had all the [00:13:00] contacts, but I just, I couldn't figure out how to piece it together. So in that, I was able to start doing soft openings, actually like really doing framework for treatment centers, brand new treatment centers. And then on that, scale, you really learn their program quickly. And I just, I ran, so fast because I was like, yeah, I can't support this. this is just literally about money. I did that. And, then through the last four months, I got pushed into developing a sponsorship tier. different businesses wanting to offer services or exchange services. And then honestly, I make these necklaces like Taylor Swift. I make necklaces and bracelets for my coping. I just started doing it. my daughter's a Swifty, but my funding for this, [00:14:00] make these just for fun and to clear my mind all throughout my day. But then I sell them. I started giving them away. It's like an act of kindness, but it turned into some funding because. I travel for work and I started just giving them out to people. They're positive affirmations. She will, I belong, keep going, set me free, right? So I noticed in giving them to people, it was literally like an olive branch. then fast forward two months later, I'm going to different places and giving them, they're like, how much do I owe you? And I'm like, Nothing. What do is this is good for me. in that, it's wait a minute. Somebody once said, yeah, you might not need to be greedy or need more money, but the thing is, the more money you have, the more you can do. and that being said, a light bulb went off. It's duh. I've been doing some research and I put a, Etsy shop. I just finished inventory pictures. And what I'm going to do is take, you say a bracelet for 15 bucks. I take 7, put it into a crisis fund for clients and then take the other [00:15:00] half and put it back into making them. but I have people that donate these beads and stuff to me now because I make them, you know, just because, as an olive branch, as an act of kindness, now into a business to go back into funding the clients and that's straight for the clients, like whatever their needs are.

Chris Langley: And people are always going to remember that Tara. They're always going to remember whenever they look at that. Yep. I remember Tara. I remember the

Tara Ballinger: about 300 bracelets and I can't tell you the And those were all free. And that was literally just, on planes stores, a little kid crying cause his mom's being, rude. And I go, Hey buddy, you want a little bracelet just to not cause any, look, I don't want to put my foot in anywhere, but I'm telling you it's the most, it's the most inclusive and easiest way that I've been able to create connections with people that might otherwise be closed circuits.

Chris Langley: Something very simple, but something very effective and very powerful. That's

Tara Ballinger: there. [00:16:00] It tells

Chris Langley: There we go.

Tara Ballinger: And

they scan it

And they're opened up to whatever they might need, whether it be, the website, the networking and I, and it's really caused, I'm a little overwhelmed right now with, my inboxes and stuff because. got so many people from walks of life. I'm talking from them being personally related to needing treatment to their kids to, to, family members. And I'm just like, Oh man, there's so much help needed. And I don't, I just, I'm one man band. So hence the peer, because I think they're the only ones that are going to get the, train off on the right track initially.

So there's, nowhere else I can send these people until I get my peers. and I've got them lined up off LinkedIn from local places. I know if I've got them lined up, trying to set up meetings with me just because it's a peer community and we are all, we feel it. it's a feeling you get around each other that we just get it. Like [00:17:00] we're

Chris Langley: Yeah.

Tara Ballinger: We look totally different, but we're the same.

Chris Langley: Yeah.

Tara Ballinger: a very trusting feeling.

Chris Langley: Yeah. The last few years for you have been something else, haven't they?

Tara Ballinger: Yeah. Hey, look, I have been so blessed and I have just been, the stars have literally went right in line with one another. I was like the same. Pinch me. That sounds so cheesy to me, but it sounds so relevant to my life that there's no way I would take anything for granted at this point because it means so much to me.

Chris Langley: Tara, you mentioned when we first met that your plans for a digital platform that you're working on. Can you tell us about that, please?

Tara Ballinger: Yeah. now that I've got the business, pretty much, figured out I'll be working on that, but in that meantime, I am going to be, building. So I have peer [00:18:00] meetings coming up from all different treatment centers and in that, in those meetings, I'm going to, give them a direct invite at that time. I'm going to basically build a peer directory. and I'm pretty sure, I actually, I have a peer, she's on my LinkedIn, her name is Tara. I've been passed, she was passed on to me from maybe three people along. She just got her peer certification, but I was asked to mentor her cause she's a vet. but when people I know are peers now, I send, I buy them a star in the universe, so you can go online and buy them a star and name it after them. because I really need them to feel that, they really are, like, they have a place in this world. can shine bright no matter what, even in a dark sky, you can still shine bright. And I, and so with each peer, that's what I plan to do, but, the let's talk about it, as I do that, [00:19:00] as I have these peers really want to jump in and put hands in. I want to build a directory so that way when it comes to the social platform, say fast forward a year from now, I'm hoping to have quite a national network on there of all walks of life from people like me to people that have no idea but just want to help, right?

Or, maybe just want to know. I'm, building it to have not only just peer resources as the most thing because They're going to help navigate and this is all volunteer. This is all because these people want to do it. It's not a job I'm paying them for. it's a TikTok customizable style of recovery resources.

It's, literally a platform that was built by a couple of Australian people released three months ago. And I just happened, one of those stars fell down and I just happened to find it. And I'm able to, do text, audio, and video to make it so [00:20:00] interactive on all levels, whether you can just text and you're certain maybe things you can't do technically, maybe you want to submit a video because it's the fastest and most efficient way you can get your feelings out or say something, But it's 24 hours. It's free. You don't have to be put on hold. and I will have people hopefully nationally where our time zones and stuff aren't going to matter. There's going to be help available. And the worst thing was that started this was I was on a social media platform that I don't really get into, but there was one thing that just shined so bright on there and It was just a repost of a 1 800 suicide prevention hotline, posting and saying, to reach out for resources.

And I just happened to see this highlighted comment saying, stuff's a joke. I was put on hold. And so I didn't know the person I reached out and I'm like, hey buddy, look, life happens sometimes. Please inbox [00:21:00] me. Let me know if there's anything I can do. I don't know you. But look, there are resources.

So I got a pretty nasty reaction back. really odd, but just showed me that like people just, at this point, they're just, they're fed up with these treatment centers, these

Chris Langley: Yeah

Tara Ballinger: it's the same square block, treatment you get. It's outdated. It's not evolved. And drug addiction and, substances have completely evolved.

And I don't know why our treatment hasn't evolved. So this platform, I'm hoping to have our peers put in kind of what's working the most in their areas because that's, what's going to be the most impactful, what they see. Because that's the only ones I really trust there. Their, vision and knowing what's working. So I offer the best options and everybody else can just fill in the gaps afterwards.

Chris Langley: So, no one else is doing this Tara no,

Tara Ballinger: I don't, know.

I'm

Chris Langley: I'd say [00:22:00] I've I've done do you're my 53rd podcast and I've not heard of anyone doing this. That's incredible. So

Tara Ballinger: in touch with the, the platform designers. He's actually trying to help me because I reached out and I said, look, this is going to be your debut as well. this is gonna, this is gonna be big. If you guys want to just help me critique it to make sure I'm showing your best you, let me know.

So I'm hoping in the next two months, I'm really going to have a pretty good resource center and virtually

Chris Langley: Goodness me big plans for 2025

Tara Ballinger: the gaps in, right?

Chris Langley: Yeah, congratulations, Tara. It's amazing listening to this today. you just mentioned on, touched on something about tried and tested therapies for addiction. Why do you think they're all, so many are outdated and, what are the problems around this?

Tara Ballinger: My first problem I would throw out would be It's not going to work if you're just [00:23:00] giving somebody a drug once a week and saying hi to them and sending them on their way. And then if they mess up, they got consequences that mess their whole treatment up, mess their whole MAT regimen up. Literally, you cause that one big shakeup, that one tiny little uncomfortableness somebody like me, we're going to go right back to what's comfortable fast. And, the thing is that's life or death because once you get clean, even for three days, look at me three days clean, your body's to being without it. when you're like uncomfortable, let me run to comfortableness. happens? You die. You're dying. Why does it have to be? Because it's so easy. So the, I believe that it's the funding is so clear cut of like how to from A to Z. it's so easy with the funding, with the [00:24:00] people accepting treatment options at this point, that the complete purpose of it, I think, has been lost. we all, everybody wants money, right? Like

Chris Langley: Yeah.

Tara Ballinger: you come up with a new drug, you got more money. You come up with a new MAT, you got more money. But the thing is I don't care what kind of medically assisted treatment it is.

You've got to have the support around it. My center, you, I'm going to have a, we're going to do personalized treatment plans and probably 90 percent of them are going to include But I'm telling you, I have met so many people doing brain mapping, programs, Vivitrol shots. like your guy from the, incentive. industry where you're offering. It's so many different ways to get to people that are not evidence based at this point, because we haven't had time to get the evidence based because too many people are dying and we're just trying to [00:25:00] save lives. So at this point, we might have some good evidence based programs.

They just don't have the evidence based part of it because nobody's really showcasing all these different options that we have. And when I'm traveling, I'm like, that is so cool, man. Why did they have that? Even if it's not for me. worth, why is it not worth trying it or offering it to somebody, and, this small town might have five options and I go somewhere else and there's 50. can't I bring some of those 50 to my town and just showcase what they have and maybe they can create some connections and get it more out there, but the evidence based term is being thrown around so loosely. I think that they really have forgotten that most, productive, stable, consistent [00:26:00] in recovery that I've seen, with the long, with the most longevity have been people in a peer position are assisting treatment, mentoring them, not a therapist, not the doctor dosing you every day. not the intake coordinator. It's a peer that's got, that trust and, people aren't trusting. I, have trust issues today, but if there's no trust in, any kind of treatment, when you're going into any kind of evidence based treatment, there's a problem and then there's a solution that's very clear.

So they make it too clear and too, A to Z, like people are not numbers. We're not files. It's not going to be the same for all of us. can have a generic treatment, but you got to personalize it a little bit and you really got to follow these people because they have no foundation. So I've had to be foundation for [00:27:00] people with boundaries, but be foundation for people until they can learn to hold themselves up. And that time, they're going to fall, maybe not all, some more than others. But if they fall and they have nobody to catch them, they're another statistic. They're back in another MAT evidence based program. And what is this? I went through 12 or 13 and you know what worked? It worked when I figured out what I could do that didn't require like all these appointments.

It didn't require, it was me telling my story and talking to people about my life to even gain the trust to get anywhere further.

Chris Langley: Yeah, that's pretty, that's incredible description. I loved it because you, described you've got to be at the right place at the right time and the right therapy and the right person. And peer support is clearly a great option for anyone who's, looking into recovery. I just want to touch on something because [00:28:00] you've been through the criminal justice, Sadly, system, sadly yourself, Tara.

How do you find that politics has gotten in the way of helping people who are facing addiction? Because it's a huge one.

Tara Ballinger: it

Chris Langley: just seems to stop this whole, people entering treatment without stigma.

Tara Ballinger: So I, and this is gonna, this is going to be me being real transparent with you. and, this is sad part of it. it's the truth. I'm going to be real truthful and I don't know how many people would really, give this a second thought, but politics are shallow. I have been given access to platforms speak at, in my recovery state in political settings with senators, with sheriffs, with, agencies that are, somewhat political.

So I have been around them, but I have noticed that [00:29:00] the, politics seem to be tied into funding. And the more funding they get, it seems to be like it showcases more of who they are and less of who we are. and I can say that there is one man that has, really opened my eyes. I work with the National Alliance of Drug Diversion Investigators. It's FBI, DEA, State Police. in doing those conferences and, speaking at some of their schools, You see a level, of all types, and then networking with them afterwards. And I worked closely with the sheriff here in this, Chesterfield County. But this is going to sound awful.

If I wasn't pretty, if I wasn't attracted to some, attractive to some of these people. I promise you they wouldn't have given me a second look. [00:30:00] Politics have been almost to where I have to, they want to hear my story, but a lot of them don't want to accept me. Like I can tell them my story, they want to help. But if one part of me, maybe I say something, maybe I have a character defect that they don't like or something like the politics is the place where I seem to get shut out of. more so in a women era. Um, it's a very touchy subject for me. I'm

Chris Langley: Yeah,

Tara Ballinger: pretty locally. I'm going to try not to get upset because it's just look, man, this, I've had somebody really be my number one support, show me my purpose, put me in a position to save my life. at this point, six years later, we've been so close. And now there's a new director of operations a, politically funded [00:31:00] aspect of recovery. I'm being was wanted and needed and they got what they wanted and needed, but I think I was, I seem to be competition for them. And maybe it's because they get their funding grants and stuff, but I don't think a lot of people are clear on me and what I do because I don't want anything from anybody. I just want to help. I'm not, I have people that are like, have you done grants? Have you done funding? I want to do this on my own first. This is a learning experience for me, but not only that, but it's a humbling experience for me. And that's what I need to show people that they can do stuff, if they put their mind to it.

But I did run into places and things that I did need some help on a political level. or maybe just some advice. And it's like I'm wanted when I'm needed for them. But it's not, it's too busy. It's not, it's always just for a purpose. It's always just for a [00:32:00] specific reason at that time. It doesn't usually go any further than that. have an event and you'll network. But after that is where I see how people really are and how much they really do want to help. I've got, people that I've, women me, not by my story, but they judge me by basically a lot of people don't believe I can do what I'm doing. They don't believe that I've done what I've done.

And it's I'm constantly having to. Prove myself hence my expungement, right? I could have just started my own company and I had to do all that but at this point I had 43 charges I got him expunged myself because I'm so tired of That record holding over my head and any person in a political position that I go to talk to If they talk to me, it's great.

But if they look me up first, it's all it's like not the same [00:33:00] But I'm the same person You know, and in that sense, like the politics have been one of my hardest ones because I just, I feel like the door is only open when they want it open.

Chris Langley: you said, you nailed it there, Tara. Politics is shallow. It really is. But

Tara Ballinger: But I

Chris Langley: what the f

Tara Ballinger: use that. If that's the game they want to play, then I'm just going to play it and just help people

from it. I did it

Chris Langley: yeah.

Tara Ballinger: way in my dysfunctional addiction. Why not take that and just do it in a positive, productive way to help more people? And look, I can just accept reality.

It is what it is. I just have to learn to navigate and just move around that to still get the same, And I'm willing to do that.

Chris Langley: They're probably jealous of what you've achieved in such a short space of time. And given your history, they're probably like, what the heck?

Tara Ballinger: it's just unbelievable because you see so many people that I think that once peers get to their peer certification, I feel [00:34:00] like it's, unspoken, but I feel It's a general feeling of we made it, we did it, this is us. But the

thing don't want them to stop there. Because eventually we're going to get so many peers, we've got to keep doing something, right?

We've got to keep the purpose and the mission going. Hence, what I'm doing. So if I offer, a haven for peers to blossom, I help them find their purpose, maybe we just, we branch out,

Chris Langley: yeah.

Tara Ballinger: helps get it further faster.

Chris Langley: I love that. That's a great answer. Thank you so much for that, Tara. I'd just like to move on with a question that I ask a lot of my guests and it's around stigma. And you've, touched on this a few times during this podcast. Why do you think in this day and age that stigma negatively impacts people wanting to enter a treatment program or a service in the community?

It's still such a big issue.

Tara Ballinger: believe there's a stigma to another stigma, So I believe [00:35:00] we're all so used to saying there's a stigma, there's a stigma that we stigmatize their stigma, if that makes any sense. And it's literally making no sense because everybody wants to help. got some, look, I have ran into some people on some pretty high levels. that have drug addictions that are put on probations right now and, have no idea that their families, have no idea they're on the verge of losing their entire career. And, I'm there to support them quietly with anonymity because It's going to benefit anybody to be, outspoken about someone's personal journey.

But saying that I wish I could tell all the people that of who I've helped, because that were the case and it didn't have to be anonymity, I guarantee you, we would all look at each other [00:36:00] with completely different Feelings and understandings and probably we would have more empathy in this world because it would be more of a known stigma that we all have at some point in relation.

We've all got it. It's closeness. just don't all talk about it because We don't want to stigmatize ourselves either. of people don't want to do that then you get labeled. Hence, Here's my new label. I belong. I'm gonna layer them because one day I might say I belong, she will. I'm a diamond in the rough, My bracelets and necklaces are label you want to be for that day, that second, and if it changes in two seconds, change your necklace, change your bracelet. let anybody stigmatize you. But the stigma I know of most addicts is you can't get a job if you're a felon. MAT, [00:37:00] I got to get Medicaid for a clinic and I got to do intake to get treatment. the three basic stigmas of people going into recovery. And then on people from the outside looking in, it's people don't change. How long is this going to last? So you literally are putting closed doors Into people's lives all for not understanding, not empathizing, but I guarantee you I can show them where they could empathize if they would just be honest with me and themselves.

Chris Langley: I love that. That's one of the best answers I've had. Thank you so much for that, Tara. I'd just like to Briefly talk about your state and how, is it coping with the opioid and fentanyl crisis and are there any harm reduction services available within your state?

Tara Ballinger: really good news too. I got an email last night. I'm going to showcase mine first, just because

Chris Langley: Yes, please do. [00:38:00] Please do.

Tara Ballinger: mine is going to be, aligned again last night. I had a traumatizing dream. I woke up, I recorded myself talking. It's how I process things in the middle of the night.

I'll just start talking out loud when I get a feeling. And as I did that, I hit stop on record, checked my email, and I hit play. So I check it and I got a response from the Narcan vending machine guy. I had reached out to, about a month ago and was stowing an idea of getting one put down here.

Now I was going to work with the sheriff, who helped me find my purpose. He does the heart program. He does a lot of, community, Outreach speaking gets people involved. but I can say that it needs to evolve a little bit. So I went to him about, some, things I had been shown doing my conferences and stuff with Natty.

And I was shown a presentation on the Narcan vending [00:39:00] machines. Now I'm trained in Narcan. the guy's shirt I have on now, Mike McQuaid, he actually was, he's tattooed right here on me too. He passed in May. He had 28 years clean. I lived with him from the time I was 15 until, what, over 22 years in and out of his life.

He was a doctor, a person in recovery. on a board of directors, but he actually, the biggest thing was he helped pass the initiative of the Narcan being able to have, like us, to be able to have public access to it instead of having to get a prescription. So him and a couple other people in 2018 to the General Assembly, had it passed.

I was, was there for all this, not at that building, but I was in his life at this time. So it's always stuck in my head. They revived me with seven hits of Narcan, So I have a personal story to it. The sheriff, offers Vivitrol shots, just different harm reduction things [00:40:00] inside the jail and helps you, transition a little bit outside. I think it, if it was a little stronger there, the harm reduction will go a little further. So I went to him, pitched the idea. Got everything lined up, but politics got in the way. competition. and I actually had somebody as a sponsor that was going to donate all the money. I went with the measurements.

He had the, we had the place picked out, every detail, and then one female politic and intentionally tried to derail the project. So I sat on it for two months and then got my company and just right when I signed my lease yesterday for my building. I've already went got measurements. I just had to finish the paperwork as I did that last night around 10.

I wake up from my dream 12 o'clock midnight. I got an email with everything I need to know to get it here ASAP because that my building, I get the key today. First things first, Narcan vending machine in the back [00:41:00] under some shading camera, all access public 24 hour. Look, I want to hear ASAP. That is the number one thing that's got to be there because Richmond's had a grant for that Narcan vending machine up for almost six months now and have done, I have heard nothing.

People don't know anything about it around here. People don't even know about Narcan vending machines, period, mostly. not only have I brought the idea, when I researched around here, moving. Everybody wants it. Nobody wants to do anything. I literally could have just dropped, I said, let me know where to drop the vending machine off.

Let me know. Let me know. Literally, they're too busy. They want this stuff, but they want it to just be like, beam. Here it is. Bam. There you go. And it's just supposed to work like that, I guess they think. But to me, look, we need it. Get it. You got all this money and funding. Why aren't you offering? The stuff that they need and [00:42:00] then they wanted to put it at a magistrate's office, and I'm like that's not very trusting

Chris Langley: Oh gosh,

Tara Ballinger: So yeah, I'm like so I'm gonna put it in the back of my building My landlord is a house of delegate Riley Ingram. supports my mission. He approves everything I'm doing and Supports it and so my Narcan vending machine is gonna hopefully in less than 30 days I'll have it there. and it's, I live in an area that is so close to about four different major highways and interstates that it's so interconnecting that it's going to be so for availability for, people.

And it's, my building is, it's got some, privacy where they'll actually really be able to feel safe with some, privacy to go get it. it's just got to be there. So other than that, There's nothing. No, I'm just kidding.

Chris Langley: that's

incredible.

Tara Ballinger: that. I'm just kidding.

Chris Langley: That's okay. so I'd also like to [00:43:00] touch back on something you mentioned. So one politician stopped you from putting Narcan. Didn't want Narcan in the public. Why? Oh

Tara Ballinger: So it

Chris Langley: yeah. Yeah.

Tara Ballinger: them not wanting them there. it was a matter of having to have, if you've got a sheriff that's telling me I make all the decisions, it's up to me when I say, what else do we need to do? I'm giving you everything. And then there's a pause. I'm like, me go back.

Where's the pause? Why? We've never had a pause. there ended up being a new director of operations that, I guess when I was doing business development, I had called and reached out because this was the place I started my treatment at. When I reached out to offer services people getting out of jail, just as an option, literally told me, thank you, but no thank you.

[00:44:00] We're good. We're good. I said, do you want me to go ahead and at least send you some stuff to? No, we're good. Thanks But then I got a call like three months later saying Hey, can you come up here and talk to the inmates in the program? They really want to hear some stuff because i've done that before I spoke at their graduations just there's always been gaps because of people and I literally went up there and I ended up going to court for one of the clients.

I got her treatment, up to help her parents and then went back up there to do some expungements. And the lady that is director of operations, unfortunately, very sad for her son passed from an overdose. And I didn't even know this, of this lady knowing her for three years. And that speaks a lot to me because see a lot of certificates on LinkedIn and, things she's done for herself. So then again, it's politics, but it's like people get those positions intentionally [00:45:00] to get their selfish needs taken care of. But they're

Chris Langley: Yeah,

Tara Ballinger: position to help others and they look like they're in it for the right reasons. But if you really just pay attention and watch, LinkedIn's the best place to see it. I see people that are in recovery that are so dedicated and devoted. see them in the public. Cool. But then once I seen LinkedIn, it's that's all they care about. Cause at these events, they're just. Talking to the other people they work with or, people walking up to their vending tables and here's a card, like my vendor table, I got everybody at my table.

Like I'm talking, I'm getting on their level. Like I might cuss sometimes, I might have some raw humor sometimes, but look, I am who I am. know what I mean? being me, people want to help, but they don't want to accept who I am. You don't have to be personal with me or like me. Tara. I'm not going to change.

I'm respectful, responsible, and look, I have [00:46:00] good intentions, just because I'm not your personality type doesn't mean that you have to show me my services or somebody's life. Shove it away.

Chris Langley: that's right. That's incredible. I'm so sorry to hear that you've come across these hurdles, but you're just keeping going. you're just, I know that you're just going to keep going with this. This is wonderful.

Tara Ballinger: it's been rough, really rough, but the last two weeks have been pretty healing for me. So you've been part of that, and I really appreciate that.

Chris Langley: Oh, thank you.

Tara Ballinger: you.

Chris Langley: That means a lot. It really does. Thank you so much. last couple of questions. I ask all my guests this because I get podcast. So can you tell me what your opinion of harm reduction is and how it can play a role in recovery?

Tara Ballinger: So I believe harm reduction helps, I think on a lesser scale than prevention.[00:47:00]

I, my outlook at this point is you've got so many harm reduction options, and they're so different in like their approaches or their views of what their harm reduction looks like. but if you really think about it, I work with public schools and middle schools here.

And, when I speak to kids, I literally go, I relate with them so much and have such good outcomes because I was that kid, right? So kids grow up into adults, right? So if we got all this money put into harm reduction, where's all this money in prevention? All right. We had sex ed growing up. We learned about quite a few, Vulgar things, right? Where's the prevention classes in these schools?

Chris Langley: Yeah,

Tara Ballinger: already know. Let's

Chris Langley: it's huge.

Tara Ballinger: them with the right information so In the research study I did last week, I'm actually going to be working, hopefully together with this guy. They've got it in two or three states on the West Coast.[00:48:00]

they've got prevention initiative classes implemented in schools in three states. And I'm so excited to bring it to Virginia. I'm going to bring it here. I'm going to bring it here because look, kids grow up into kids, grow up into adults like me. And once you get to that point, You will waste a lot of money on harm reduction and save

Chris Langley: Yeah.

Tara Ballinger: it by just putting it into prevention.

Chris Langley: Yeah. That's so simple, but it's so obvious and it's, yeah. That's, so you are bringing this to your state.

Tara Ballinger: already got a meeting lined up with him and

Chris Langley: Yeah.

Tara Ballinger: I need. And then I work with DEA, Operation Engage. I be hopefully their VA contact. I just did that last week. So if I can get the trust from the schools with the DEA and I have the trust with his clinical studies and his, what's been working. And then I have my experience in the schools as a peer. Okay. Put it together. We should be able to make something happen.

Chris Langley: That's huge. This could be huge for the state as well, and you could be [00:49:00] the, lead for this whole project.

Tara Ballinger: Yeah, I'm getting a little, I just, I need help. I just, I'm so scared to reach out to people that just really don't have the right. they just, I've got to feel their intentions. I've got to feel genuineness. I've got to feel it. If I don't feel that with people, I don't let them in.

Chris Langley: Yeah. Yeah.

Tara Ballinger: is

Chris Langley: That's,

Tara Ballinger: too touchy of a subject to just play

and take a chance with at this point in life.

Chris Langley: Yeah. And, self care. for yourself is vital.

Tara Ballinger: Yes.

Chris Langley: It really is.

Tara Ballinger: are my days. I get my kids co-parents on the weekends

Chris Langley: Yep.

Tara Ballinger: I work Monday through Friday. It's not like work because I love doing it, but, I do tap out on the weekends, the, social media stuff, work stuff.

And then on Mondays I take Tara Day. So

Chris Langley: Yep. I love that. Teraday. That's so cool. keep doing Teraday because it's working.

Tara Ballinger: it. I have to Yes.

Chris Langley: Yeah, definitely. That's great that you're aware of that. It's, one of the, [00:50:00] worst things is burnout

Tara Ballinger: Yeah. And I'm

Chris Langley: when you're working in this.

Tara Ballinger: there's too much good stuff and it's just literally such a big world of options and opportunities that we're so closed minded. We want to seem like open minded, but we're really like so stuck on same principles and treatments and, options.

And I'm here to shake some stuff up a little bit.

Chris Langley: Oh, yeah, I can tell.

Tara Ballinger: what's out there. Cause if you just show them, it roll,

Chris Langley: Yeah, definitely. You've spoken a lot about what your plans are, Tara, but so 2025, what is going to happen? What do you, what is the, by December, what would you want to do by, with, what you're, with what you're doing?

Tara Ballinger: recovery looking so attractive. That I am hoping to create a, I'm going to have an alumni because I never want people to not feel part of a family. I never really even knew what an alumni was until I [00:51:00] was in a, in this one treatment program. Sad thing about that too, politically, they have their big alumni, but it's like they have the, stars in their alumni and those stars get, get, on the back and clapped at quite a bit to where the other little, other 500 people in the alumni are like, I wish that was me.

So it's, very, awful and it's

Chris Langley: Two tier.

Tara Ballinger: Yeah. So just, I want everybody to be a family member, whether it's, Somebody that's in this trailer park 10 miles down the street or my neighbor that's in this nice two story, Grand Victorian. Like we're all the same. Let's all have an alumni to know that I had no family. luckily I was able to find my support at this point in life, but not everybody's that blessed and lucky. And I always want people to feel like they belong. Hence why I wore this today. I belong. Because.

Chris Langley: Love it.

Tara Ballinger: That's where everything started with me. [00:52:00] I didn't belong. I didn't fit in. I wasn't accepted. And even if I was, I didn't feel like it. So

Chris Langley: Yeah.

Tara Ballinger: put somebody and make them feel wanted, give them a purpose. And I think we can do something.

Chris Langley: Oh, yeah. I know you're going to. I can, this has just been a fantastic podcast,

Tara Ballinger: Thank

Chris Langley: Tara. It really has. And what you're doing for your community and what you've achieved is just. Something I've not really heard of before, and I've done a lot of these, congratulations. last couple of questions.

I ask everyone this, but I'd love to hear your, messages. Because, do you have a message for anyone listening to this podcast who's going through an addiction?

Tara Ballinger: Yes. so I feel like if you're an active addiction, there's got to be, There's got to be some, there's, if there's no good, and my big thing is integrity and intention. Those are two of my favorite words. I really feel [00:53:00] that I've got to get this peer directory up because I feel like if I can just get people talking to peers, finding their local peers, researching, maybe even going on like a peer website for, in that you find all the contacts trust and believe not one person, one peer, if they're a real peer, they should be. They're not going to turn anybody away when they're just asking for navigation. navigation into to do. You've got warm lines and hot lines, but nobody wants to call and ring and ring and ring that's a problem with a lot of those hotlines. And it's, it doesn't seem personal to me.

If you find a local peer or a local treatment center that has a peer, go to them. If you can't get to that point of trust and, motivation, [00:54:00] hoping to maybe have some stuff recorded on my website soon. I want to just, I really just need people to know that like I get put down every day. as much as I let, some days it's more than others. have had people look away from me and turn their head and go, when's she going to mess up next? How long is this going to last? and that's within the last 10 years. fast forward, now I made it through with some, foundation and I still have doubters. So I never want people to feel like, even if you feel like you have nobody, I didn't really have anybody strongly in the beginning. But I've been through so many worse situations like that. It wouldn't have been that it was not that it seemed hard in the moment, but to keep going was so much easier in this setting. Knowing [00:55:00] that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome. Once you can realize like you realize don't let somebody tell you have to make a realization that Things aren't changing, but you got to do something different. That was really hard. That's a huge thing to do, but I would just recommend the easiest thing, find a peer, because all that stuff came over time. And in that beginning, it was a mess in my head and I couldn't distinguish even where to start. I know what I felt. So if you talk to a peer, you get them feelings out. Things will happen naturally from there. But as far as for peers, in this world, I really feel like they, They need to be careful, and make sure that they are practicing their own coping and, processing, skills because in the middle of talking to a client, even two weeks ago, I was literally words coming out physically and [00:56:00] my truth of my childhood, a pretty big pillar came out of What actually happened with a family member of mine that I just didn't see it like that.

My subconscious covered it up real pretty. as an addict, you bury things deep. You tend to, get clean, things come out, you process things, but in about say five years you can have things come up that you're like, whoa, I can, is that really part of my life? that happened. It's tricky like that.

And when that happens, that's a, you're subconscious throwing that out. So it's not a planned event to talk about. Then you've got to decipher whether it's real, then factual or not. And then you have to go, wait a minute. Now I got to accept this, right? If it's the

Chris Langley: Yeah.

Tara Ballinger: end up being some sexual assault stuff that I just saw a different way as a child. And processing and hearing music and talking in this conversation to help them, it brought out memories, like vivid memories, photographic memories in my head that [00:57:00] I didn't plan on. and what that did was it created such a overwhelming, intense feeling of whoa, wait a minute. I started digging online immediately, crying, digging online to find exact dates and times of things going, wait a minute, is this really what happened? Come to find out, it was the truth after everything I was able to put together as an adult, to look for the right things, what I was being told as a child was not right. The feelings I've been had, I've had my whole life concerning that, I didn't know what they were from, but then I did. Once I figured that out, I was able to process it.

Now, had I been weak in that moment. Not with the right, not having coping, not having the right support, not having my foundation as a peer in recovery on my own recovery, I would have, I could have easily, relapsed, overdosed, died, literally died [00:58:00] all because I wasn't ready to handle subconscious thought that just popped up. And look, I'm so glad it did. I'm so glad it's, it was not comfortable. it being, and that being said, I promise you, I didn't realize that was one of my last core issues that I was battling with, that I didn't see any other way of approaching it until that happened, even gave it any thought.

Chris Langley: Yeah. Goodness me. thank you so much for sharing.

Tara Ballinger: to

Chris Langley: Piaz,

Tara Ballinger: Yes.

Chris Langley: go. There you go. Perfect advice. Thank you so much. last question, Tara. Can you tell our listeners how to best contact you and to find your service online?

Tara Ballinger: Yes. So I have the www. recoveryresourcesva.com tat is basically where I just, I'll, Let people book introductions because that's like you. The first thing I want to do is I just, I want to create a bond. I want to create a [00:59:00] connection with somebody and then life will take over naturally. I promise, with conversating and communicating.

I have, social medias for my personal, my business. Now they are separate. is all one. so if you look me up under Tara Ballinger, if you look me up under recovery resources VA, I'm all one. they are showcased separately, just based on whichever audience wants to look at whatever part. But in my website, it's got all about me. It's got about where I came from and everything is connected to where you get to that one website. You'll find it all, but stay tuned for letstalkaboutit. com because I'm hoping to have my peer directory up, with at least a good number by mid spring.

Chris Langley: Wow. Incredible. Tara, it's been a genuine honour and a privilege to talk to you and to hear your journey and to hear how much you've done in such a [01:00:00] short space of time. It's just been incredible. And thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. And, wish you all the very best for the future.

And hopefully we can have you back in maybe 12 months to see where we're going, because I can just see this just getting bigger and bigger. And I'd love to hear more about what you're doing in schools as well. And it's incredible work you do. Thank you so much.

Tara Ballinger: you so much.

Do, do, do, do, do.